In general, when someone you love shows signs of mental illness, it’s a cause for concern. However, when they have dementia, it can be even more worrisome. This is because they often don’t know that they are experiencing hallucinations or delusions in dementia, and may feel terrified and confused, which can lead them to act out in ways that might seem inappropriate or dangerous to the people around them. When this happens, don’t panic! There are several things you can do right away to help your loved one calm down and feel safe again:
Observe
When your loved one with dementia shows delusional and paranoid behaviors, it’s important to observe. Pay attention to what they are doing and how often these episodes occur. If you notice a pattern, call your doctor immediately.
If your loved one becomes aggressive during an episode of delusion or paranoia, stay calm and don’t confront them directly. Try to distract them by talking about something else that might interest them and give them space if necessary
Comfort Them
You should try not to react negatively or become angry at the situation. Reassure them that they are safe by saying things like: “I’m here for you” or “I’m not going anywhere.” Listen carefully when your loved one speaks about their delusions, and don’t interrupt them, even if what they say makes no sense or upsets you e.g., “Let me out!”. Be compassionate and empathetic when responding, e.g. “I’m sorry this happened.” If possible, hug them or hold their hand while reassuring them of your presence in the room.
Help Them Gently Face The Truth
The best way to help your loved one is to give them facts and examples of how their belief differs from reality. Instead of arguing or concentrating on why their beliefs are incorrect, focus on giving them information that will help them see their beliefs in a new light. E.g. “It’s true that the doctor said your heart was fine when you went in for your checkup last month, but he also told me that he’d like for you to come back in six months so he can do another ultrasound.”
Acknowledge Their Emotions
Don’t dismiss their feelings as irrational or try to talk them out of their beliefs. Instead, stay calm and listen carefully as they express themselves. Your loved one may feel scared or threatened in some way; acknowledging this will help them feel less isolated.
If your loved one is showing signs of paranoia (such as accusing others of trying to hurt them), don’t argue back or get angry at them for accusing you falsely, this could make matters worse by making it harder for both parties involved in this interaction!
Stay Calm, But Keep Moving
If you find yourself in this situation with someone who has dementia and paranoid delusions, know that it isn’t your fault or theirs. It’s the disease that causes these behaviors. As your loved one’s paranoia and delusions are likely to be a source of great anxiety, validation is an important step in helping them calm down. Validation simply means that you let them know that you understand and accept what they’re feeling, whether they’re good or bad emotions.
