As parents age, they tend to need more assistance in doing mundane tasks. It can be frustrating to work together with your siblings to provide proper care for your aging parents. There is a lot you would have to deal with; this could include previous conflicts that were unresolved, clashing personalities, making tough decisions for the family, and facing unequal contributions. When choosing to care for your aging parents, you will have to learn how to work through these conflicts so that at the end of the day, your parents are being well taken care of. Dealing with aging parents and siblings is often tricky because of the bond shared between one another. There will be conflicts and disagreements that will test your relationship. Here are some ways for you to deal with aging parents and siblings!
Avoid Comparison
We often feel that our siblings should put in the same amount of effort into caring for their parents. When we were younger, our parents took a lot of time and effort in raising us up. They do their best as parents and avoid the mistakes that their own parents have made. Parents try to care for and love their children as much as they can. As such, we often feel that we are indebted to them because of how much they have loved us when we were young. You would feel the responsibility of caring for your parents lie on you and your sibling’s shoulders. It gets frustrating when your sibling does not feel the same way. It is important to realize that not all siblings would feel the same way about their parents. Each one of us had a different relationship and a different role in the family when we were growing up. This could be why they may not feel the same way about our parents.
Stop Assuming that Siblings Are the Same People They Were as Children
As we grow older, our ideas and values change according to our environment and experiences. Sometimes we assume that they will respond the same way as they did when they were kids. We may feel that our siblings will not be able to. Handle certain situations or know how to react and respond to problems. When we do that, we are undermining their ability to help and assist you. You would then carry the burden of taking care of your aging parents by yourself which can be extremely stressful. It is important to share the load with another loved one. Instead of assuming how they will respond to things based on your childhood together, ask them how they feel about it. Sit and chat with them to understand them better. You may not know the experiences they had after they moved out. When you sit and listen to them, it will foster a closer relationship.
Plan for Tough Realities Ahead
It is hard bringing up end-of-life questions as it scares us. We often avoid it or think it is cruel if someone else brings it up. Actually, avoiding it till the very last minute can cause more conflicts and issues at the worst time. It is important to start the conversation about it especially if your parents are still well and healthy. When you talk about it, remember to be sensitive with the words you use as it can be a very touchy subject for some. When you sit and ask what your parents’ wishes are, your family can all be on the same page when it is time to carry out these wishes.
