We’re sorry to say this, but the answer is no. It’s difficult to think about having to help a loved one move into assisted living. It can seem unpleasant if they don’t want to go. But, while you might be tempted to let them stay in their home and manage on their own, there are times when it might be necessary for you to take action and make this change happen—only for their good.
Understand Their Discomforts
Whatever their reasons for feeling this way, it’s important to understand that your loved one’s discomfort is a normal reaction. They’ve likely spent the majority of their lives making decisions on their own and being in control of every aspect of their lives. Losing that control can make them feel overwhelmed, especially when they’re used to doing things on their own terms.
Additionally, many elderly individuals fear what will happen if they move into assisted living. They may worry about being confined in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people who don’t share their interests or values—and are probably younger than they are! These fears can lead them to believe that life at home is better than living in an assisted living community (which isn’t always true).
Explain how much you love them and want what’s best for them (even if it means moving). Remind your family member that although this may feel like an overwhelming change initially, assisted living has many benefits.
Don’t Argue, Listen Closely
Please don’t argue with them. Instead, listen closely and try to understand their perspective.
Let’s say your mother is resisting moving into assisted living because she wants to stay in her home and be independent as long as possible. You can explain that assisted living provides 24-hour care, so she doesn’t have to worry about caring for herself or falling ill alone at night—and that there are plenty of activities like exercise classes and games of Bingo on the schedule each day. You could also offer to hire an aide who could stay overnight if necessary (this can get expensive, though).
Be patient! It may take some time before they come around—and don’t forget that they might have valid reasons for wanting independence over assistance from others!
Bring in an Expert on Assisted Living to Help
If you think it’s time for your loved one to move into assisted living, but they’re not receptive to the idea, consider hiring a professional to assess your loved one’s needs and recommend the correct type of facility (if there is one) or services they might need.
You can also ask these experts what activities are offered at each community—this will help you know if it would be an appropriate fit for your parent or loved one. If there are any special programs for golden-age adults, find out about those as well. And finally, check with them about whether or not there’s a waiting list for this type of housing option—it may take some time before suitable accommodations become available at the communities that meet all their specific requirements.
Your relationship with your parent is unique, and the decision to move them into assisted living is big. If you still feel uneasy about approaching this topic, consider seeking legal counsel. An assisted living expert can help explain your options and advise on how best to proceed.
